The Complete First Season (DVD, RESTRICTED)DVD - 2012
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"Didn't you say that texting was the lowest form of communication on the pillar of chat?" "The totem of chat. No, the lowest, that would be Facebook, followed by G-chat, then texting, then email, then phone. Face-to-face is, of course, ideal, but it's not of this time."
"You're wearing a white dress. Okay? You're essentially begging the world to f**k with you. Do you understand that? You're daring a homeless person to wipe their blood on your breasts. This isn't a consumptive women's hospital. We don't wear aprons. No. Okay? Forget all the BBC you watch at home with your cats and pick out an appropriate outfit."
"When you just send me a text that's all emojis, it's very easy to dismiss you. A panda, next to a gun, next to a wrapped gift -- it makes no sense."
"Um, hey, you're pregnant when you don't want to be, so you might want to show up to your own abortion."
(discussing their relationship) "I came. You came hard. We all laughed."
(after her boyfriend shaves his head in support of a co-worker with cancer) "You look scary to me. Like Mickey Mouse without the ears."
"You look really gorgeous. I love you all stripped down."
"I've never been as miserable in my life."
"It's totally working."
"I'm my authentic self. I am being my authentic self."
"If you had been this gay in college, I would have known because I have two eyeballs, two ears--"
"You might want to take some steps back through your other boyfriends, and not for nothing, maybe take a look at your dad."
"In what way does my father read gay to you?"
"Ah, well, he has a stud in his ear . . . "
"He got it on a trip he took with his male friends. I heard what that sounded like. I know what that sounded like. You know what I'm going to do now on? Ask people if they're gay before I have sex with them."
"Good luck with that."
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